Many years ago I realized my plan for life was stalled. I had many goals and many ideas revolving around my mind on how I
could help others. But there was
something holding me back. Spirit thankfully, got through to me. I imagine they
were over there saying "How many different ways do we have to show and tell this girl the same thing!!??"
Simply put, we cannot serve source or others until we straighten out our own life. Its really quite simple. Yet it was so
very hard for me to grasp while I was sitting on my path, wanting things MY way.
You see, we must first start our
spiritual journey just like any trip we would be taking; we picked our destination, now it is time to start by Packing our
Suitcase. We must decide what to take with us, what we will need, and if we have the strength to carry the finished bundle.
As you would sort your clothes, picking what fits for the weather, the season, the activities, looking for interchangable
items... Thinking of the things that are MOST useful. We must do this with our relationships, possessions and beliefs.
It is time to get our lives down to what WE alone can carry, accept that we may need a bit of help along the way and
ask for it, and understand that when we get to our ultimate destination there isn't going to be much room, use or desire for
many of the possessions we now have accumulated.
Today let's focus in on relationships.
Many of us find
we have people in ourl ife that drain us. Just being in the room with them, taking a quick call, or thinking of an upcoming
event with them leaves us feeling drained and needing a nap! These relationships are unbalanced. The other party is draining
your energy. But you have given them permission to do so. Simply by continuing the relationship you are providing your agreement
to the terms.
You must first look at the people in your life. Is your partner supportive? Is this a positive
relationship? Ask this about ALL of your frequent relationships, ask this after meeting a new person, re-evalute often,
and be honest with yourself.
Now after taking an honest look at the dynamics of your relationships, its time to
create that Positive Circle around yourself.
Imagine a deviled egg container.
In this exercise you are the + in the middle. Each egg symbolizes a relationship you currently
have with others.
The first row encircling you should be people who you have balanced and supportive relationships.
This person supports you unconditionally, they offer honest opinions, always based on what is in your best interest. They
don't always agree, but they always RESPECT your decisions. One person is enough, but we each must have atleast one.
If we don't, then that is our first job, put yourself out there and find this person. Ask source to assist and then cultivate
this relationship.
The second row are people who are supportive in certain areas only, people you choose to have
relationships with, and that at times are a bit draining. Know who is in this row, what circumstances you may encounter that
you will need to be a bit prepared for and nurture this relationship with balanced giving. Be aware when you may find this
relationship draining. Avoid those circumstances when possible, be prepared when you must interact during those times, and
accept this relationship for what it is.
Third row relationships are relationships that are draining, they
have many emotional triggers, and we dread interaction with these persons. You have control over yourself, and can prepare
for these interactions on your own. You feel BOUND to maintain the relationship. These would be our co-worker, a boss, an
ex partner, ect. You are choosing to KEEP this relationship out of a desire to keep something else, ie a job, shared property/friends/children,
etc. Once realizing you ARE choosing this relationship, you must then determine what you NEED to be able to interact with
this person when necessary. Do you need to be in good spirit? Do you need to keep the interaction only over the phone or through
email? Set your limits and boundries that will enable you to limit contact, minimize your Power Drain and provide the contact
necessary to maintain your "something else" ie Job.
Fourth Row relationships are relationships that we
cannot bring ourselves to end or detach. This may be a family member or a life long friend. These relationships are ones we
gain nothing positive from continuing. We stay out of guilt. We not only dread interaction but feel physically unable to deal
with these persons. This is a relationship that requires very limited contact. But when you feel you MUST choose to interact,
be ready. Be at your best physically, emotionally and spiritually. Bring a first row person with you. LIMIT your exposure
until you are ready to detach.
You should provide rows with distinct "rules" for each ROW not each person. Relationships
may move about, from row 1 to row 2, constantly re-evaluate your relationships. Create as many rows/rules as you need, but
remember to keep it simle. The easier it is to remember, the more likely you are to continue using the "egg container".
When you are able to see that some persons/relationships have become so draining and unbalanced that they are on the outside
row, you may need to consider detaching from that person.
This system recreates our interactions in a visual concept
that allows us to truly see where our supportive relationships truly are. It allows each of us to look at our relationships
from a new perspective.
By learning which relationships are balanced and which are not, we can encircle ourselves
with positive people, positive energy. Thus allowing us to grow stronger, more balanced and enabled to make better decisions
for ourselves.
If you are interested in the second part of this exercise or in further information on development
and living a positive moment please sign up for my newsletter to receive a reminders and news.
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