Many years ago I realized my plan for life was stalled. I had many goals and many ideas revolving around my mind on how I could help others. But there was something holding me back. Spirit thankfully, got through to me. I imagine they were over there saying "How many different ways do we have to show and tell this girl the same thing!!??"

Simply put, we cannot serve source or others until we straighten out our own life. Its really quite simple. Yet it was so very hard for me to grasp while I was sitting on my path, wanting things MY way.

You see, we must first start our spiritual journey just like any trip we would be taking; we picked our destination, now it is time to start by Packing our Suitcase. We must decide what to take with us, what we will need, and if we have the strength to carry the finished bundle.

As you would sort your clothes, picking what fits for the weather, the season, the activities, looking for interchangable items... Thinking of the things that are MOST useful. We must do this with our relationships, possessions and beliefs.

It is time to get our lives down to what WE alone can carry, accept that we may need a bit of help along the way and ask for it, and understand that when we get to our ultimate destination there isn't going to be much room, use or desire for many of the possessions we now have accumulated.

Today let's focus in on relationships.

Many of us find we have people in ourl ife that drain us. Just being in the room with them, taking a quick call, or thinking of an upcoming event with them leaves us feeling drained and needing a nap! These relationships are unbalanced. The other party is draining your energy. But you have given them permission to do so. Simply by continuing the relationship you are providing your agreement to the terms.

You must first look at the people in your life. Is your partner supportive? Is this a positive relationship? Ask this about ALL of your frequent relationships, ask this after meeting a new person, re-evalute often, and be honest with yourself.

Now after taking an honest look at the dynamics of your relationships, its time to create that Positive Circle around yourself.

Imagine a deviled egg container.

 


In this exercise you are the + in the middle. Each egg symbolizes a relationship you currently have with others.

The first row encircling you should be people who you have balanced and supportive relationships. This person supports you unconditionally, they offer honest opinions, always based on what is in your best interest. They don't always agree, but they always RESPECT your decisions. One person is enough, but we each must have atleast  one. If we don't, then that is our first job, put yourself out there and find this person. Ask source to assist and then cultivate this relationship.

The second row are people who are supportive in certain areas only, people you choose to have relationships with, and that at times are a bit draining. Know who is in this row, what circumstances you may encounter that you will need to be a bit prepared for and nurture this relationship with balanced giving. Be aware when you may find this relationship draining. Avoid those circumstances when possible, be prepared when you must interact during those times, and accept this relationship for what it is.

Third row relationships are relationships that are draining, they have many emotional triggers, and we dread interaction with these persons. You have control over yourself, and can prepare for these interactions on your own. You feel BOUND to maintain the relationship. These would be our co-worker, a boss, an ex partner, ect. You are choosing to KEEP this relationship out of a desire to keep something else, ie a job, shared property/friends/children, etc. Once realizing you ARE choosing this relationship, you must then determine what you NEED to be able to interact with this person when necessary. Do you need to be in good spirit? Do you need to keep the interaction only over the phone or through email? Set your limits and boundries that will enable you to limit contact, minimize your Power Drain and provide the contact necessary to maintain your "something else" ie Job.

Fourth Row relationships are relationships that we cannot bring ourselves to end or detach. This may be a family member or a life long friend. These relationships are ones we gain nothing positive from continuing. We stay out of guilt. We not only dread interaction but feel physically unable to deal with these persons. This is a relationship that requires very limited contact. But when you feel you MUST choose to interact, be ready. Be at your best physically, emotionally and spiritually. Bring a first row person with you. LIMIT your exposure until you are ready to detach.

You should provide rows with distinct "rules" for each ROW not each person. Relationships may move about, from row 1 to row 2, constantly re-evaluate your relationships. Create as many rows/rules as you need, but remember to keep it simle. The easier it is to remember, the more likely you are to continue using the "egg container". When you are able to see that some persons/relationships have become so draining and unbalanced that they are on the outside row, you may need to consider detaching from that person.

This system recreates our interactions in a visual concept that allows us to truly see where our supportive relationships truly are. It allows each of us to look at our relationships from a new perspective.

By learning which relationships are balanced and which are not, we can encircle ourselves with positive people, positive energy. Thus allowing us to grow stronger, more balanced and enabled to make better decisions for ourselves.

If you are interested in the second part of this exercise or in further information on development and living a positive moment please sign up for my newsletter to receive a reminders and news.

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I lay on this wonderful bed of mine, under the covers and in the dim light. I feel safe here; three of the four pups are curled up beside me. Thankfully, three of the four bulbs in the ceiling fan are burned out and the room is comfortably dark. It’s been raining for hours, maybe all night. I slept well, and couldn’t say for sure, but I think it must have been a steady rain all thru night. Big boy came in soaked to the bone from his meandering morning constitutional. Pete had no trouble getting the little ones do their business and then hurry inside. I wonder if the old fellow is finally over his fear of the dark and water. It would appear so from the soggy pillow and spotted nose I am looking at this morning.

The ceiling is alive with a million drops dancing across it, it echoes through the room. I can hear the wind blowing. If I look up I can see the massive oak tree swaying, water running off the red and gold leaves. My wind chimes are singing as the trash man moves on to the neighbor’s house. I hope Pete remembered to set our container out as well. As I look out the bay door and see that the cans are empty, I catch movement along the side of the house.

The cat next door is struggling to walk across the top of the fence. I can see the concentration on its little face. I lay in my warm bed with a smile and watch that little cat- hurrying thru the rain and wind, balancing along the fence, worried about avoiding my lovely dogs and just wanting to make it home. I wonder why the cat doesn’t just hop down on the safe side, run thru the neighbor’s yard, and curl up on the wicker chair on the covered porch. I am struck then with the similarities between this cat’s morning and my own. These are what the hard days are like for many people. We take the hard way, we follow the same path we have come to know, the obvious route. If we are fortunate, we trip or stumble, take stock and see the advantage of a new and different way, or an outsider will step forward to point out from afar what they see. I wanted desperately to climb from my bed, rush outside and force that cat to jump down and run. I know that when my door opened, fear of my dogs would have hurried her, most likely she would have taken off like a rocket, safe on the other side of the fence, making a beeline to the porch and safety. But, how could I instill that fear in her? Tomorrow she will follow her morning route, and then she will not only fear my dogs, but me as well. Perhaps one day I will find a way to show her a different way is possible, but for now I can see my job is to keep the dogs at bay, and allow her safe passage. As I watched she eventually made her way to the safety and comfort of the dry porch, she curled right up and appeared to fall asleep.

For me, being in service is much like this morning has appeared outside my window. It is not a choice for me. It is what and who I am. Over the years I have walked away and been pulled back. Service and my acknowledgement of source is a constant, it is a continual breeze blowing across my life. The rain across the roof reminds me that the people I serve are countless; I may never have a personal interaction with 99.99 percent of them. It is the .01 that I may be given an opportunity to interact. How will I serve, that is the question. Service is our interaction with each and every person that we speak to, walk past, live with, work for, etc. It is EACH and every soul that comes across our little square in this grid we call life. How will we serve? There are countless ways besides what I consider the spiritual. A parent who loves unconditionally is in service to source.

I choose to serve as a psychic medium. This is the label I use to mark myself for others to know the service I am in to source. It is a label of no importance to me, it only states one small way in which I am attempting to assist others. My true service is in how I live each moment, how I treat each person, how I think each thought, it is in every action or inaction.

Serving as a medium, and having the opportunity to interact with people who are searching is a gift. It is my privilege to be able to share in a very private moment of another person’s life and at times assist them on their paths.

With that said, serving as the “landline” for communication comes with great responsibility. There are countless reasons why a person will seek out a medium or psychic. The reasons are as unique as each person. For the sake of discussion, I will mention a couple that seem to be more frequent, and I shall generalize them.

Closure with a passed loved one.
Evidence of the continuing of spirit
Desiring answers to questions about their life, past, present and future
Searching for a way to serve source

In each of the above scenarios, it is the medium’s duty and responsibility to look beyond self and determine if by providing their service they are assisting or hindering this person on their path. You see, the medium’s intention should never waver from providing the client with the means to go forward on their path without the medium’s assistance. A psychic or mediumship reading should be just a step on an individual’s path. A medium is nothing more than a guide in the physical world; simply a different perspective or a means of clarity for the client. Mediums, psychics, or any other person should never allow themselves to be utilized as the navigator of another’s path.

As a medium, or lightworker, we should assist others in understanding how to navigate for themselves. That is our ultimate goal; lighting the path to allow others to see their own abilities, educate by sharing our own experiences, and encourage by our own example.

How do we accomplish this?

When we decide to serve as a lightworker I believe we should each look inward before we begin our development or practice. In my experience there are two key phases to this process. A process that is ongoing, that will shift from phase one into phase two and back again. In essence we must begin to work inwardly before we work outwardly.

Be in a GOOD place yourself

First and foremost we must look at our own paths, our own lives. This area is not one that is easy to define. This is the culmination of our lessons learned and those that we are still struggling to understand. This is where a guide would be able to assist in providing clarity. This is absolutely a personal and unique process for each individual. In my opinion, there is no standard answer for all. Recently, I equated this to being asked to give directions to Mom’s House. The directions I give will get you to MY Mom’s house, but won’t assist in getting to YOUR Mom’s house. My best advice on this issue is to look inward, ask your spirit guides for clarity, and ask a teacher to cross your path.

EGO

We must remain aware that ego is a constant force in our lives, and needs to be addressed. We are all aware of those people who strove to make a difference, never asked for their name to be remembered, and just continued doing what they were doing.  They made differences in this world because of the fact that they stepped back and insisted the spotlight be on the issue or cause. This is how we should see each and every moment of service. The spotlight is not on the server but on those being served and how they take that service, make it their own and serve others.
** further thoughts on this see EGO.

If you have examined your path and balanced the egos you are in a position to begin assisting others. I would suggest at this point seeing where source guides you. Perhaps you will choose to provide life counseling, or perhaps you will volunteer at the hospice. Or you may choose to begin a course of study or development to prepare yourself to serve in the capacity of a spiritual guide, as was my choice.

From personal experiences I must say that for me this was a very euphoric moment. I felt I had worked all my issues out, I believed I was placing positive energy in my life, and I was moving forward and could feel the acceleration of my path itself. And then I tripped. Like I was hoping that cat would. By believing that I had worked through my issues, blocks, etc. I left myself open to ego. The trip was a way for source to get me stop and take a look around. This allowed me to realize, we never stop the process. No matter how many years go by, how many clients we see; the process does not end. The process I have come to believe is a workbook. Like a workbook in elementary school. Each page builds on the last, and we may at times need a separate workbook to zero in on a lesson we just aren’t able to get from the regular workbook.

The process and/or the workbook are both really our lessons of life, the lessons we learn to assist our spirit/soul to experience this place we call earth.

When you place yourself in service you magnify these lessons. Not only are you experiencing solely this lesson, but as a lightworker, we take that lesson and share the experience with others.

It is here where balancing ego is important. If we do not take the time and energy to keep a proper perspective, and work to maintain a balanced ego we may come to see that our experience, our work, our selves are overly important or vital to the world, to the individuals we work with. We say to ourselves. “My faith, service or belief is the best way. My service is worth more than others. My time is more important than my client or spouse’s time”.  Or we may be overwhelmed with doubt, fear and perceive we are not able to continue in service. We say to ourselves, “What if I am wrong? What if I hurt this person? What if I guide incorrectly?”

A balanced ego allows me to respect each person’s choices for service, ways of faith, study and development. Balanced ego allows me to trust my experience with source and rely on source for future guidance. It is a constant check and balance system to ensure that I walk my path, live my life to the best of my ability; empower my self, be the best I can be while in service.

Serving as a medium or guide is more about keeping your life centered and positive than anything. In truth we all are teachers, mediums, guides and life counselors. We each have the ability to assist others and live prosperous lives. Regardless of our religion, beliefs, or faith we each are born into this world to experience, learn and teach. The only pre-requisite is unconditional love.

If ever asked, “What is it like to be a medium?” I believe I will relate my story of this morning’s cat adventure and say this, “For me, being in service is like being the cat, the fence, the observer, the chair, the rain and the roof, the wind and the tree, the chimes and the window pane, and the dogs all at the same moment. You strive for balance, keep aware of the possible dangers you or the client may face, and slow step it forward. You stand back, observe and learn from choices and the outcomes. You provide passage to one small stop on a continuing path. You provide a safe place in the midst of a bit of rain for a bit of time to allow for rest. And yes at times, you may abruptly or gently clarify the choice of an alternative path.”

Being a medium; there is no such thing truly. There is only being human. We are all mediums. We are all lightworkers, teachers, students, guides, etc……

Your experience is mine as much as mine is yours. It is in recognizing this fact and seeing that this implicitly means that we are all equal, we are all suffering when even one suffers. We should be striving to bring each and every individual the happiness and joy that we have experienced. My experience tells me, this is the one and only goal of all the lessons we learn.